Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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