We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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