Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
