I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
barbara walters just said penis...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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