You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
