Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize