U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
