Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
