OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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