this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
