Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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