I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
