You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
