Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
