i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
