heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
