I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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