They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
