he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
