So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
is that a dick in a sweater?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize