I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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