he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
