so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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