Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize