brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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