please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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