So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
