my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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