Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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