I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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