My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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