look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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