I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
COCAINE IS GR8
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
