I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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