worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
