Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize