Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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