I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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