Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
