Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
