I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize