The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
