I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
