WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
