I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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