it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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