9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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