STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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