dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
