home. puking in laundry basket.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
