I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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