Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and she was petting her beer can
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
