i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
