if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
