i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize