I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
