He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
